I'll preface this by saying I am not sure how many people follow my blog or even read anything I write on here. In the end it is all for me anyways... With that being said it has been a really long time since I have done any actual blogging and/or writing here. But I feel like I just need to say some stuff and use this as an outlet right now like I use to.
Last night I went to the Mayer Hawthorne show with two of my best and oldest friends. Sometimes it is crazy to me how long we have been friends, and how old we have become. While at the same time I still see us as those kids growing up together. I can truly see how time after college starts to fly by. You start to live for your weekends and things just move. I had this realization back in May right out of school, and last night I happened again. I just felt life, you know real life-the real world if you will. It just seems like when I am doing my thing that I am on my schedule no thought of going back to school or the work I need to do just living. I have always looked up to those older than me and wanted to be them, like most of us do. It is funny because we all continue to chase that idea and still think of ourselves as young. I love the moments when I realize that I am there now at that point. To live in the present is key to all things. These are the good times, the glory years. Life is quick and youth is fleeting, it is important to do what you want and to enjoy it.
Recently things have been really crazy and hectic(working 12 hr days and 60 hour weeks chasing my dreams!) It is a daily grind and really can wear you down at times. But I am happy paying my dues and making strides. I am still shocked sometimes that I am actually getting to work in the industry I have wanted to work in since I was a child. I heard a great quote the other day that said "People say good things come to those who wait. The truth is good things come to those who work!" So I work and I work hard to make my dreams come true.
Last night at the show I was at a place that holds a lot on memories and significance in my life. While I was enjoying my night and really soaking up the present moment and looking forward to this new memory. A lyric to the David Gray song Babylon popped into my head. It really took my out of the present and made me think of the past. Then on the car ride home after my 60+ hour work week Babylon shuffled up. The lyrics really touched me. It had me thinking the whole ride home and pretty much was a catalyst to me writing this tonight.
I can see so many things in my life falling into place and I am really looking forward to my future. But even with all the career success and opportunity I still feel like something or someone is missing.
I guess when it comes down to it...
I miss you.
Friday night I'm going nowhere
All the lights are changing green to red
Turning over TV stations
Situations running through my head
Well looking back through time
You know it's clear that I've been blind
I've been a fool
To ever open up my heart
To all that jealousy, that bitterness, that ridicule
Saturday I'm running wild
And all the lights are changing red to green
Moving through the crowd I'm pushing
Chemicals all rushing through my bloodstream
Only wish that you were here
You know I'm seeing it so clear
I've been afraid
To tell you how I really feel
Admit to some of those bad mistakes I've made
If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Babylon, Babylon
Sunday all the lights of London
Shining , Sky is fading red to blue
I'm kicking through the Autumn leaves
And wondering where it is you might be going to
Turning back for home
You know I'm feeling so alone
I can't believe
Climbing on the stair
I turn around to see you smiling there
In front of me
If you want it
Come and get it
Crying out loud
The love that I was
Giving you was
Never in doubt
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
Let go your heart
Let go your head
And feel it now
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